The Castronovies: Florida Man of the Year

Nominee: ‘Kill ‘Em With Kindness’

A Florida man fighting with neighbors vowed to “kill ’em with kindness” and then attempted to do just that — by attacking a neighbor using a machete with the word "kindness" written on the blade. Authorities say when they arrived on scene 30-year-old Bryan Stewart reeked of alcohol and had to be stunned with a Taser in order to be taken into custody.

Nominee: The Doorbell Licker

A month after a California man spent almost three hours licking a doorbell camera, Florida Man decided he wanted in on the action. The bearded man, proudly wearing University of Miami gear, was caught in Lake Worth licking a Ring doorbell. After the first initial licks the man steps back, pointing at what looks like a stack of flyers before going in for one more taste.

Nominee: The Mac & Cheese Addict

Florida man Austin Davis has eaten nothing but macaroni and cheese for the last 17 years. A way of coping with a traumatic childhood, he'll eat a variety of brands, but his “ride or die” is Velveeta brand shells, with the creamy cheese product he squeezes out of a foil packet. Adam works out four times a week to "counteract (his) terrible, awful, carb-filled diet."

Nominee: Is That a Gator in Your Pants or...?

In May, during an early-morning traffic stop, a female passenger pulled a one-foot baby alligator out of her yoga pants when the officer asked her what she had. As it turns out, she also had dozens of baby turtles in an appropriately themed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. Police called in Fish and Wildlife to take over the investigation.

Florida Man, the worst super hero ever. Come back in 2020 for our weekly Florida Man Friday round-up and stay up-to-date on all the weirdness happening in the Sunshine State. In the meantime, vote below for your favorite story of 2019...voting will remain open on this category until Tuesday, December 31, 2019.


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