After what can only be described as an immense disappointment (one that might be leading to mutiny), I've decided to compile a list of things to do that aren't watching Miami Dolphins football. Check them out and explore the happier alternatives in life, because 59-10 isn't a score that inspires anyone:
10) Focus on the Miami Hurricanes season, surely it can’t be much worse than the Dolphins.
Okay, okay. That was a low blow. A total shot. Let's try this again...
10) Workout? Instead of drinking a case of beer and consuming mass quantities of meat products on Sunday, consider going for a bike ride. Playing tennis? A swim? Did I just write that?
9) Sexual activity. Is there anything better than lounging around in the bed on a lazy Sunday? Instead of annoying the significant other with 22 hours of pigskin, suggest some HGTV and a bottle of rosé...it’s almost guaranteed.
8) The Sunday Drive. Do people still do this? Driving in South Florida during the week can be a hazard to our health. But on Sunday, you could take A1A north into Palm Beach, look at the Secret Service at President Trump's house, buy a $22 cocktail on Worth Avenue, and you’ve killed a day.
7) Go to the mall. I didn’t say all of them would be good ideas, but while the wife spends endless hours looking at purses, you could find a food court.
6) Check out a matinee. I love a good movie on a Sunday! The theaters are usually empty, it’s dark, the AC’s are cranking, and if the movie sucks...there’s a nap in your future.
5) Nap...like the whole day. Wake up, walk outside, grab a late breakfast, and go back to sleep. Two or three times.
4) The Sunday Brunch. There’s nothing better. Most come with unlimited mimosas or Bloody Mary’s (I saw a Bloody Mary at a BBQ joint with a rib in it this weekend). Over eat until they make you leave.
3) Learn how to BBQ. And I mean really BBQ, like with a big green egg or a smoker. Try different things, like rotisserie chicken, or try to make a perfect brisket. And then when football matters again, you'll be ready.
2) Go fishing! This is my plan. Normally I don’t fish as much in the fall because I have to be on the couch at 1:00 pm every Sunday. But now there will be a sign in my man cave that reads: "Gone Fishin' (Hopefully Catchin')"
1) The Long Weekend! When was the last time you hit the Keys? Naples? St. Augustine? Disney? We have a way cool state, so go see it! Or stay home and suffer through 0-16.