Anderson’s Rules for the Gym
-Re-rack your damn weights! There should be federal laws against this by now.
-No grunting, groaning or moaning.
-Do not wildly psyche yourself up for a heavy dead-lift. You’re not setting any records jackass.
-Stop doing lunges through the middle of the gym floor.
-Do not set up camp in the middle of the weights area and start doing yoga.
-Do not congregate with your bros around a bench and take turns doing one set every 8 minutes.
-Do not sing audibly to whatever you’re listening to on your damn headphones.
-In fact don’t even wear headphones. Enjoy some silence for once.
-Don’t cop an attitude if I ask you if you’re using a particular piece of equipment. I’m trying to be nice you piece of crap.
-Do not drink a gallon jug of milk in front of me. (Yes I’ve seen this more than you'd think.)
-Do not lift anything heavier than I’m lifting in my proximity.
-Do not get naked in the locker room. Especially if you’re over 65. In fact they’re should be segregated locker rooms for the gnarly elderly dudes that insist on walking around naked.
-Never wear those stupid tanks tops with a hood.
-In fact, never wear tank tops in general.
-And finally don't ever flex in front of the gym floor mirrors. That's reserved for that moment in the bathroom before you hop in the shower.
-Even worse, do not film yourself squatting unless you're doing 4 plates or more.
-Actually unless you're Ronnie Coleman don't film yourself doing anything.