Mike Anderson: The Things I've Done While Sleepwalking...
This right here is what I, (as a habitual sleepwalker) am terrified of…
Not that I’ve ever done anything violent while sleepwalking in the past, but it only takes once. Now this particular case seems pretty sketchy—the guy is probably using sleepwalking as a bogus alibi. But nonetheless having home defense weapons in the bedroom does make me a little nervous, and my girlfriend as well. Again I’ve never done anything aggressive in the midst of my unconscious meandering, well except for push my sister into the bath tub when I was kid. But that was only because she tried to wake me up which they tell you not to do. Here are some of the other wonderful things I’ve done while sleep walking over the years:
-Ate an entire tub of rice.
-Ate a cake.
-Quite frankly I’ve eaten lots of stuff, some of which I’ll never know of...
-I’ve peed in my clothes hamper.
-Peed under a couch cushion. (Yes I lifted a couch cushion just like a toilet seat and urinated into the couch.)
-Peed in my friend’s fireplace.
-Peed on my girlfriend’s guitar amp.
-Peed on my Xbox games.
-Peed in my dog’s water bowl.
-Peed into the kitchen trash can.
-Peed on a pair of pants lying on the floor.
-And quite frankly probably peed on a zillion other things that I’ll never know of. Unless maybe I sniff them closely…
-Walked out into a hotel hallway wearing only a shirt! Once the door locked behind me I came to in the hallway half naked and with no room key or phone. So I had to walk down to the lobby at 3 am to get someone to help me.
-And the weirdest thing I’ve done while sleepwalking is creepily stand over PC Show listener and friend, Toenail Tommy while he slept in the bed next to me in our shared hotel room. I just stood there in the dark and stared at him peacefully sleeping until he awoke and directed me back to my bed. (…I was probably contemplating smothering him if I had to guess.)